*yes, this is part of my paper.  yes, i'm handing it in...

"As a citizen of the United States, I generally feel safe at night.  I’ve never had to worry about a plane dropping bombs on my house, or a large battalion of enemy soldiers reeking havoc in my town- in fact, the very thought of this is almost comical, as I have an extremely hard time legitimizing this image in my mind (I spent half my childhood at my mother's house in New Jersey…I picture enemy lines mistaking deer and wild turkey for human beings, and a bunch of overpaid republican lawyers hiding in hunting perches with illegal shotguns, making beer bets on how many soldiers they kill).  I also don’t have to worry about some psycho dictator or rogue president making any stupid uninformed decisions."